When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
