you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
