Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
