Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
