her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
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