i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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