Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
