If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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