I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
