I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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