he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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