Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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