Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
