I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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