omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Sorry my hands just texted you
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
