i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
