hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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