Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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