Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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