i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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