It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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