Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
