I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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