Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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