dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
