At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
