Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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