Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
