Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
