Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
