the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
