here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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