this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
