doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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