is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
