I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
