also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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