C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
