yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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