break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
