my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
