OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
