if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
