It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
