Whod you bang
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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