I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
