can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
