How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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