so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
