so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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