This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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