I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
